Fellow INFPs, do you feel me?

Fellow INFPs, do you feel me?

Oh, my fellow INFPs, can you tell me? Do you feel fundamentally flawed?

Much of the time, I feel like nobody understands me. So many people seem to operate on logic and don’t understand that I am based in the heart. I must seem ridiculous to them, and I find that when I speak to them I have trouble packaging my words in a way that helps them understand how I’m feeling or why I feel the way I do. And I’ll admit I don’t always understand them either. How does one work from the mind and not from the heart?

I feel destined to be misunderstood and alone. All the things they love about me come from the same place as the things maybe they don’t love so much.

All that they adore in us can turn into the reasons they chose to ignore us. Our passion. Our heart.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always felt ashamed of the way I am. I noticed I was different–more sensitive–than others. Hiding the tears I cried during sad movies. Plastering on the fake smile that I cultivated to cover the injury inflicted upon me by the simplest of statements (to them) until I was alone and it dripped down my face like melting wax lips.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve worked hard to embrace my sensitivity and what makes me…me.  But it’s tough when a friend tells you that maybe you aren’t worth their friendship because you get sad or upset when they attack something that you are extremely passionate about. They don’t understand that it feels like the world might crumble without those things which make your heart soar. Without which, we might stay hidden in the dark shadows that our pain buries us in. Often times, they don’t even see how what they may have said could be perceived as an attack at all. Are we unsolvable puzzles to others?

When I love someone and find them worthy of my attention, I love them deep within every cell of my body. This doesn’t happen often. I don’t have many people that I want to focus on in such a grand way, but when I find them, it is like magic. They are magic. But if they end up rejecting me, it feels like a world of color was suddenly reduced to gray.

They may not understand that because I care for them so much, their words can sting more than anything brought upon me by those I do not give a shit for. I guess that is a lot of responsibility to put on someone who may not understand the space in which I live.

But I don’t think they understand the heavy load that my affections place on my shoulders. I feel the pain of others deeply and am often compelled to listen and help. Their pain becomes my pain. If someone or something matters to me, I will put everything I’ve got into making it all better for them.

But not everyone is like this. Sometimes when I need an understanding ear or hand to hold, I can come up empty. Left to shoulder the torturous burdens alone. Not that other types are bad. They just don’t see or feel things the way I do. I understand that they are not trying to neglect or hurt me but they are…different. But understanding that fact doesn’t lift the clouds, does it?

So, am I meant to be alone?

Perhaps this why so many of our kind turn to the pen. The page will always understand the rhythms to which our hearts thump. Putting our words into black and white feels like the safest way to express and release our pain. Maybe no one will read or listen but it helps when we can transform our feelings–heart–into art.

Work-in-progress

Work-in-progress

I’ve been a little quiet on my blog as I’ve been in a great big slump. I’ve been struggling to believe I was worth anything. Not capable of writing anything worth reading. A face among voiceless faces drifting around the earth without purpose. What is the point? I kept asking myself. Who cares?

Well, I found out someone does care and it made all the difference in the world. And if they care, why couldn’t I? Once again, a switch was flipped. The world turned on. The sun rose. I began to believe.

And a few days ago, I began to write. I let go. I held on. Determination crowded the doubt to the edges. My laptop open. My fingers moving.

No concern for marketing or rules. Just the fun and joy that writing has always brought me.

For a few days now, I’ve gotten back into a writing grove (I’ll be knocking on some wood now.) I’ve got a new morning ritual that reminds me to believe, and it’s working.

 Nope, not gonna share what it is. It’s a secret and may just be a little weird. But then, I’m a little weird, so what does that matter.

I wanted to share a few lines from my works-in-progress. Normally, I don’t share anything because I never feel good enough. I’m going to get over that, and I’m going to let my voice be heard.

It feels good to be writing again. My goal is to have the thriller I’m working on done by the end of the year. I’m also in the very beginning phases of a romance. A few lines are down, and I have it churning around in my mind, playing like a movie shrouded in a thick fog that I’m still trying to see through.

I stopped writing for a while because I stopped believing I could. All it took was for someone else to believe in me and to let me know it. And you know what, I kinda feel like I can do anything at this point.

 

Writing Lows

Writing Lows


I open up the file of my work-in-progress and stare at the page. I don’t type anything. I sigh. The lid on my laptop closes. Another day goes by that I don’t write a thing.


Why do I keep doing this? It’s certainly not because I have writer’s block. I know exactly where my story is going. 


I’m haunted. It’s self-doubt. It’s feeling like a failure. It’s wondering if it’s enough that this story might only matter to me, and no one else, to get me to finish it.



I want to be successful. There’s no denying that. I won’t pretend for a minute that I don’t care if no one ever reads my work. 


 I’ve never liked being the center of attention, but I’d like attention to be given to the characters and worlds that I spend so much time on and care so much for. 


Oh, how I love to write! I always have. I love spending time in another world. I absolutely adore it when my words make people connect to my characters and makes them cry, laugh, or get grossed and/or creeped-out.  


But it’s heartbreaking to feel like none of it matters.



I don’t like shouting into a void. 





I don’t like feeling like a talentless fool. 

So how do I continue? How do I keep on writing stories that no one will ever read? 

Writing is a huge investment. Financially and emotionally. I wish more readers knew how much heart we put into our work. 


But this is part of the process it seems. My heart dances to the tune created by the thousands of words that compile my little tales and then thuds into the pit of self-doubt and worry that no one will ever want to read them. 


Sorry to moan. I’m an emotional person. Why hide it? 


And maybe some of you are feeling the same about whatever brings you to great highs and lows. 

I’m hoping that putting these feelings out there will help me take off on a writing frenzy again. 


As Henry Ford said, “When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.”

Fingers crossed. 

The biggest writing mistake I keep making.

The biggest writing mistake I keep making.

I keep making the same frustrating mistake in my writing over and over. It’s not punctuation, grammar, spelling, dialogue or action tag errors (although, I do make these too.)

No, it’s that I keep thinking I’ll remember things.

The other day, I was in the shower (a place where I do the majority of my best thinking), and an exciting new element of my book was revealed to me. Oh, it was so exciting and excellent I knew I’d never forget it. So, I didn’t bother writing it down. I got a little busy the rest of that day and didn’t have time to start the next chapter. By the next day, I couldn’t remember quite what it was. The problem is that I have so many ideas, they tend to blur together, and I confuse them.

I spent yesterday doing another activity that produces ideas for me…walking around. But I never could quite remember exactly what it was I had thought up. I was like a donkey walking around with the carrot dangling from a string just out of my reach.

(I think the muse does this to punish me. I mean, she gave me this beautiful gift and I didn’t appreciate it enough.) Occasionally, I could scrape my teeth along the tip enough to get a little taste of what it was, thinking I was about to remember, only to realize I’d never get a good grip on the whole dangling, delicious carrot and it would slip away. Ugh, I really am a jackass!

So the lesson for you and especially for me….When you get an idea, no matter how big or small, write that s*$# down! Write it down!

You know, I’ve looked through my journal or picked up one of the approximately two million scraps of paper in my office where I did write things down. And I read things didn’t remember writing. True, some of it is written in the middle of the night in the most illegible penmanship on earth, but it amazes me how quickly things can fade from my memory.

Write it all down, pals!

One day I’ll follow my own advice and save so much wasted time walking in circles after carrots.

Author Interview 📚 Robin Smith

Author Interview 📚 Robin Smith

Hello, friends! It’s Sunday and that means it’s time for another author interview. Woot Woot! I’m very excited to bring to you an interview with Robin Smith, author of THE WARDS OF BYTA. You can find my review of the book on my book review page here

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If you read my review of THE WARDS OF BYTA and you want to get your copy, you can do so by clicking here

So, let’s get started with the interview!

 

 

RobinSmith

Author Robin Smith

(Psst…just as with words, Robin is enormously gifted and creative with makeup. You should check out her Instagram. She’s always creating the most incredible looks.)

 

 

Q: What is your favorite thing about writing?

A: My favorite thing about writing is the release it gives me. I get to spend time in other worlds that only reside in the imagination and I get to explore things I never could in reality. I get to meet new people, have dangerous adventures, and witness magic. 

Q: What is the most difficult part of the novel writing process for you?

A: Editing. Hands down, it’s the most meticulous thing for me. It’s when writer’s block strikes and when I start to over think. I always find I have to keep a second project going during that time or I get sick of reading certain passages over and over and can’t give it my best.

Q: What inspired you to write The Wards of Byta?

A: I grew up with three sisters and really wanted a story where I could show the bond of siblings. I knew it was going to deal with fantasy and once I settled on elves, everything fell into place.

Q: How long did it take you to write The Wards of Byta?

A: It took me 5 months for the first draft but editing and those minor tweaks took an additional year. Although, I did end giving birth in that time period so it did slow things down a bit!

Q: Do you plot out your stories, fly by the seat of your pants, or some combination of the two?

A: I plot. Some people have no idea just how meticulous my outlining process really is and when I explain it to them, I wonder if I really need to go that far. But, it works for me and it’s one of the things I enjoy most about the creative process because that’s when I can really start seeing my ideas come to life!

Q: How do you select the names for your characters?

A: If I don’t have set names for characters that have been predetermined from months of planning, I hit up the good old internet and websites filled with baby name ideas.

Q: Are you working on anything new?

A: Always!!!!!

Q: Do you prefer to write in the morning, afternoon, night, or whenever you find a spare moment?

A: I prefer writing first drafts any time of the day but editing I reserve for night when the house is quiet and I have the time to think things through.

Q: Do you have any writing rituals?

A: I guess it might be considered like a ritual. I practically surround myself with notebooks filled with notes and research and character profiles and all of that jazz and then jump in.

Q: What do you think makes a good story?

A: I think anything can be a good story as long as the progression of the story seems smooth and there’s cohesion. The main characters also have to be at least somewhat relatable for me or I can’t get through a book.

Q: Dogs or Cats?

A: Oh nooo, how could I chose!!! Ok fine, cats.

Q: Savory or Sweet?

A: I have a sweet tooth for days!

Q: Beach or Forest?

A: Forest!!!

Q: When you’re not writing, what do you like to do with your free time?

A: First and foremost spending time with my family. I’m also really into art, sewing, anything crafty, and the art of makeup.

Q: How can readers keep in touch with you? Do you have a website? Are you on social media?

A: I’m most active on my Instagram account, trying to get back into Twitter, and I occasionally do some Facebook. No website at this time but I’ve been working on getting one up!

Q: Do you like to hear from your readers?

A: Absolutely! Tell me you like or dislike my work and engage with me. It helps me grow as an author and it is so fun to interact with new people!

Q: Is there anything else you’d like people to know about you?

A: I’m very outgoing online but in person, I can be incredibly shy and awkward around people I don’t know. But I do enjoy humor of all sorts (especially dry/sarcastic humor, sassy humor, and blatant humor) so my favorite way of connecting with new people is through laughter!

This was such a fun interview! Thanks, Robin. 

Friends, if you’re looking for a great new book from a great new author, please check out THE WARDS OF BYTA by Robin Smith. Don’t forget to leave a review when you’re done and tell a friend about Robin and her book! 

Thanks! See you next Sunday. 

💔

💔

My heart has disintegrated. I love music and I love Tom Petty’s most of all. The music and lyrics he created connected deep within my soul, touched me, moved me. I feel so much more alone in the world today.

tom.png

One of my favorite songs is Walls. I posted those lyrics before. I’m doing it again. There is nothing on earth that can reach you in the deep places that music can and Tom will always be the greatest.

“Walls (Circus)”

by Tom Petty

Some days are diamonds
Some days are rocks
Some doors are open
Some roads are blocked

Sundowns are golden
Then fade away
But if I never do nothing
I’ll get you back some day, ’cause

You got a heart so big
It could crush this town
And I can’t hold out forever
Even walls fall down

All around your island
There’s a barricade
That keeps out the danger
That holds in the pain

Sometimes you’re happy
Sometimes you cry
Half of me is ocean
Half of me is sky, but

You got a heart so big
It could crush this town
And I can’t hold out forever
Even walls fall down

Some things are over
Some things go on
Part of me you carry
Part of me is gone, but

You got a heart so big
It could crush this town
And I can’t hold out forever
Even walls fall down

You got a heart so big
It could crush this town
And I can’t hold out forever
Even walls fall down

Rest in Peace, Tom. I hope I get to meet you someday. Maybe we can raise a little hell and roll a joint together. All my love. All my thanks. All my joy. All my sorrow. Thank you for the inspiration.

Author Interview 📚 Bryce David Salazar

Author Interview 📚 Bryce David Salazar

Hello, Friends. I’m so pleased to be able to bring you another author interview with another incredible author, Bryce David Salazar. I keep hitting the jackpot with incredible authors agreeing to let me interview them! Woot woot! 

Bryce David Salazar is the author of SHE SEES METAPHORS and TALES OF TIMELESS SPRINGS which is at the very top of my to-read list. I can’t wait to dive into it! 

 

Click here to get your copy of SHE SEES METAPHORS and here to get TALES OF TIMELESS SPRINGS. 

So let’s get started with the interview, shall we?

 

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Author Bryce David Salazar

 

Omg! I have to stop for a moment and say… what an awesome author photo! Love it! I can already tell this is going to be a fun interview.

 

Q: What is your favorite thing about writing?

A: It’s fun. I dig letting my imagination go wild as I tell stories that I myself find fun and entertaining.

Q: What is the most difficult part of the novel writing process for you?

A: Just about everything after page three.

Q: What inspired you to write Tales of Timeless Springs?

A: Over the course of several years I had slowly put together a bunch of random scribbles about this weird city and its cast of characters. Not long after my first novel, She Sees Metaphors, was finished, I had enough material to make another book. So I rolled with it.

Q: How long did it take you to write Tales of Timeless Springs?

A: When I seriously began working on it, about a year. But I had been jotting down notes and stories for about four years prior to that.

Q: Do you plot out your stories, fly by the seat of your pants, or some combination of the two?

A: I usually have a beginning and an end in mind. Everything in between sort of happens by the seat of my pants.

Q: How do you select the names for your characters?

A: I’m a big fan of checking baby name websites.

Q: Are you working on anything new?

A: Always.

Q: Do you prefer to write in the morning, afternoon, night, or whenever you find a spare moment?

A: In the morning, but the day job doesn’t give me permission to do that. Not unless I wake up around 4:00 in the morning, which is a level of crazy I’m not willing to stoop to.

Q: Do you have any writing rituals?

A: Set a glass of something to drink next to me and ignore it.

Q: What do you think makes a good story?

A: Heart, I guess. The idea of a “good story” is subjective. If it has heart though, it can reach someone.

Q: Dogs or Cats?

A: Both. Always both.

Q: Savory or Sweet?

A: Sweet.

Q: Beach or Forest?

A: Forest, so long as I’m looking at it from inside. Where it’s clean.

Q: When you’re not writing, what do you like to do with your free time?

A: Video games.

Q: How can readers keep in touch with you? Do you have a website? Are you on social media?

A: They can hit me up on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. My website, www.BryceDavidSalazar.com is also a good place to keep tabs on me.

Q: Do you like to hear from your readers?

A: Yes. It’s heartwarming, humbling, and pretty freaking cool.

Q: Is there anything else you’d like people to know about you?

A: I don’t like cheese and I make no apologies for it.

 

Thank you, Bryce!

What a fun interview! Getting to know Bryce David Salazar a little better makes me even more excited to read TALES OF TIMELESS SPRINGS! I hope you all enjoyed the interview as much as I did and the next time you or a friend are looking for something to read, you’ll keep Bryce David Salazar in mind. 

Thanks for joining me, friends!