How I reclaimed my inner spark

How I reclaimed my inner spark

A while back I wrote about discovering that I had a vitamin d deficiency. You can find that post by clicking here if you’re interested.

I suppose it started when I moved from Hawaii to Ohio (there’s whole lot less sunshine here๐Ÿ˜‚).

flight sky clouds aircraft
Photo by Tookapic on

I knew I wasn’t feeling great but it was such a gradual change, I didn’t really recognize my symptoms. Here’s what some of them were:

Depression โœ…

Muscle Weakness โœ…

Tiredness โœ…

Crankiness โœ…

and a few others that open a whole other can of worms that I’m not interested in sharing with the world at this point.

My doctor put me on a high dose of vitamin d which I’m still taking and will continue to take forever. At first, I didn’t really notice a difference. I experienced some pain in my joints, and the changes to my mood were so gradual, I didn’t really see a change taking place (oh, but it was).

This summer I’ve been spending more time outdoors, without sunscreen. I know. I know. You should wear sunscreen, cancer and all that jazz. I wear hats and long sleeves if I’m going to be out long doing yard work or something like that. And I will put a little sunscreen on AFTER I’ve been in the sun for a while but never before going out. (I’ve not once gotten sunburned, btw).

woman stands on mountain over field under cloudy sky at sunrise
Photo by Victor Freitas on

Anyway, I did not realize how deep into a shadow I had moved until I was basking in the glow of my inner spark once again.

Before, I had a hard time doing anything or remembering to do anything. I’d forget appointments and important dates without lists, alerts, and alarms. I’d always been the kind of person who was on top of the shit that was important to me. Then, nothing was important to me. I struggled. Everyday.

When the warmth of spring arrived this year, I started taking daily walks again. Walking is something I did a lot of in Hawaii and I was happy that I was finally feeling like doing it again.

Then, this summer, I went for one of my evening walks. The person I was walking with and I saw a man bending over in his yard. I couldn’t help myself, and I made a loud fart noise and started giggling (yes, I’m 10), and I laughed so hard I struggled to continue the rest of the way up a hill we were on. On other walks, I’d mall walk or sometimes prancersize. Laughing became a regular part of the walks. I had so much energy. I really was acting like a complete idiot again.


Now it’s the norm once more. I do stupid shit. I giggle. I snort. I really enjoy doing simple, everyday things that had brought me so much misery to even think about doing before.

And guess what…I’m usually not even tired until bedtime!

Who knew a vitamin deficiency could have such an impact on my life?

I’m grateful to have a doctor that thought to check for it and didn’t just throw a pile of antidepressants at me and call it good (Not that people don’t benefit from anti-depressants. I’m just saying it wouldn’t have been the answer for me because it wasn’t the root cause of my problems, so please don’t feel the need to yell at me in the comments).

I’m so happy to feel like myself again. It would have been absolute misery to live the rest of my life the way I was feeling. I’m not sure I could have continued on that way.

I’m back. And it’s really great to be back and remember how it truly feels to be me.

giphy (15)

If you’re interested in buying my book, ASTER THE SPIRIT TALKER, you can buy it by clicking here.

6 thoughts on “How I reclaimed my inner spark

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