Why is receiving so hard?

Hello Friends,

Before I start this post I wanted to say thank you to all my followers. I just realized that I now have just over 200 followers! I’m sometimes surprised anyone cares what I have to say and to know that 200 of you decided to click “follow” on my blog touches my heart.

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So…Christmas is just a few days away and that got me thinking about gifts. I really love giving gifts. I love the moment when I find just the write thing to give someone. Seeing their face light up or hear the joy I brought them makes my day. I LOVE giving gifts.

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Receiving gifts, now that’s another story.

It makes me so uncomfortable and I don’t know why exactly. Maybe it’s because I don’t particularly like being the center of attention and I’m being looked at. Or it could be because I’m afraid I won’t react the way the person is hoping and I don’t want to let them down.


I think if I lived my whole life and no-one ever gave me another gift again, I’d be okay with it.

Is it an aspect of my personality that makes me that way? I guess it could be.

I don’t mind giving my books away but when it comes to selling them, I feel sick over expecting to be paid.

Receiving praise or acknowledgment is difficult for me.

I’m horrible at asking for help. It takes a lot before I’ll do it. But I’m happy to help someone out if they need something.

If I go out with friends (even the closest friends that I’ve known for years) I’ll insist on paying for my own drinks or food if they offer but I’d love to pay for theirs.

I gave up my Patreon page even though I had a few patrons because I felt like I owed more than I was worth. Adding the tip jar to this blog floods me with overwhelming embarrassment. While I can tell myself that other artists get tips for what they do, deep inside I just feel like an undeserving imposter.

Maybe it’s about control. I don’t know. Is it selfish of me not to allow others the joy of giving that I enjoy so much?

Am I weird? Is it a personality thing or something we learn from our parents? My parents are both very giving people.

How do you feel about receiving and giving gifts?



The effects of Winter on my writing.

Hello friends,

Well, there’s one thing I know about myself as a writer for certain and that’s that I’m SO much less productive during winter. I think I’ve finally figured out why that is.



You’d think I can’t go outside and walk or garden or one hundred million other things that might distract me from writing so I’d be bored and have so much time to write.

But I don’t.

It’s dark by five (which usually feels more like 8), and I feel like going to bed. I never feel like writing when I’m tired. Who does?


I’m pretty positive that I don’t really mind the cold during winter. If I’m dressed appropriately (and let’s face it, winter fashion can be fabulously cute), it isn’t bothersome at all. And the snow…I adore it. Look at this video I made the last time it snowed. (Yes, I sometimes spend time doing things others might find weird and pointless 😂 But it was just so beautiful, I wanted to hang on to the feeling I had during this snowfall)

(If the video takes too long to load you can watch it on YOUTUBE by clicking here)


Snow is beautiful and magical! I remember being a little kid in the back seat of the car while my dad drove on snowy nights. I’d stare out the front window at the snow zooming toward us and swooping upwards at the last moment, memorized. It was like flying through space on warp speed in a movie. Amazing!

Now that I know it’s the darkness that gets me down, I’m going to make sure I write earlier in the day. I’m going to keep taking my vitamin D, and I’m not going to get down on myself when I’m in a writing slump.

Spring will return and so will feverish fingers that can’t tap the words away on the keyboard fast enough!


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Control your content

Hello friends,

Sometimes my writing journey feels like this…

Wooo! It’s easy to feel like I’m getting absolutely nowhere. But I’m determined AF, and so when I come to a realization, I like to share it so that you can move an inch or so forward with me.

Here’s what I want to say…


Now I’m not talking about writing guests posts or publishing poems or articles in magazines. I’m talking about using sites like Patreon, Wattpad, Chapterbuzz, or any other such site. But Allie, you say, you’ve used these sites?

Why yes, my darlings, I have, and that’s why I urge you not to use them. I have three main reasons why and here they are:


Reason One: Those sites are a time suck. I spent so much time working on my Patreon, Wattpad, and Chapterbuzz accounts that I neglected my blog, my poetry, and my novels. In order to find any readers, you have to scratch other writers’ backs to get them to scratch yours. This is to basically falsely inflate your numbers to make it look like you have a lot of readers. It’s getting the sheep to follow a buzz you’ve manufactured. I wish people thought for themselves and dug to find writing they like but really they (not all but a lot)  follow the crowd. Therefore, you have to spend more of your writing time fabricating some buzz. (Patreon actually recommends you find creators to mutually support to grow your numbers. But it’s all false! I want REAL followers.)

Reason Two: Every time you post to these sites and then share via your social media, you’re drawing potential new readers to an external site. Why not draw them to your own? Showcase yourself and your kick-ass website, not someone else’s.

Reason Three: Your readers are yours to keep (as long as you keep them entertained.) Why work so hard to grow the followings of Wattpad, Patreon, or Chapterbuzz when they can decide to kick you off at any moment? If they don’t like or agree with something you wrote, they can boot you. Let’s face it, sharing ideas or stories freely in this day and age is dangerous business. I also don’t want to support any websites who silence anyone who disagrees with a CEO’s political or personal views. I know some may applaud the silencing but remember, one day they may come for you, too, dear writer. Free is free. And on my own website, I’m free to be me.

So, while it might take me longer to find readers, I’m still finding them. It may be a long process, but I’m in for the long haul because writing is my passion.

I’m grateful to all of you who have followed this blog, signed up for my newsletter, leave comments, and have purchased my books. You’re amazing! I will continue to share chapters of my works-in-progress under the sneak peeks tab.

And remember, you can find the link to purchase my books on the books tab or by clicking here or here to purchase a signed copy.

If you’ve read my books, I’d like to ask you to leave a review on Amazon and/or Goodreads. Reviews go a long way in helping indie authors like me to find new readers.

I’m going to keep on putting one word after another and I have no doubt that I’ll grow a following of readers who connect them.




If you’d like to support my website and my writing you can click below

Tip Jar

Help support my website and my writing