How I reclaimed my inner spark

How I reclaimed my inner spark

A while back I wrote about discovering that I had a vitamin d deficiency. You can find that post by clicking here if you’re interested.

I suppose it started when I moved from Hawaii to Ohio (there’s whole lot less sunshine here😂).

flight sky clouds aircraft
Photo by Tookapic on

I knew I wasn’t feeling great but it was such a gradual change, I didn’t really recognize my symptoms. Here’s what some of them were:

Depression ✅

Muscle Weakness ✅

Tiredness ✅

Crankiness ✅

and a few others that open a whole other can of worms that I’m not interested in sharing with the world at this point.

My doctor put me on a high dose of vitamin d which I’m still taking and will continue to take forever. At first, I didn’t really notice a difference. I experienced some pain in my joints, and the changes to my mood were so gradual, I didn’t really see a change taking place (oh, but it was).

This summer I’ve been spending more time outdoors, without sunscreen. I know. I know. You should wear sunscreen, cancer and all that jazz. I wear hats and long sleeves if I’m going to be out long doing yard work or something like that. And I will put a little sunscreen on AFTER I’ve been in the sun for a while but never before going out. (I’ve not once gotten sunburned, btw).

woman stands on mountain over field under cloudy sky at sunrise
Photo by Victor Freitas on

Anyway, I did not realize how deep into a shadow I had moved until I was basking in the glow of my inner spark once again.

Before, I had a hard time doing anything or remembering to do anything. I’d forget appointments and important dates without lists, alerts, and alarms. I’d always been the kind of person who was on top of the shit that was important to me. Then, nothing was important to me. I struggled. Everyday.

When the warmth of spring arrived this year, I started taking daily walks again. Walking is something I did a lot of in Hawaii and I was happy that I was finally feeling like doing it again.

Then, this summer, I went for one of my evening walks. The person I was walking with and I saw a man bending over in his yard. I couldn’t help myself, and I made a loud fart noise and started giggling (yes, I’m 10), and I laughed so hard I struggled to continue the rest of the way up a hill we were on. On other walks, I’d mall walk or sometimes prancersize. Laughing became a regular part of the walks. I had so much energy. I really was acting like a complete idiot again.


Now it’s the norm once more. I do stupid shit. I giggle. I snort. I really enjoy doing simple, everyday things that had brought me so much misery to even think about doing before.

And guess what…I’m usually not even tired until bedtime!

Who knew a vitamin deficiency could have such an impact on my life?

I’m grateful to have a doctor that thought to check for it and didn’t just throw a pile of antidepressants at me and call it good (Not that people don’t benefit from anti-depressants. I’m just saying it wouldn’t have been the answer for me because it wasn’t the root cause of my problems, so please don’t feel the need to yell at me in the comments).

I’m so happy to feel like myself again. It would have been absolute misery to live the rest of my life the way I was feeling. I’m not sure I could have continued on that way.

I’m back. And it’s really great to be back and remember how it truly feels to be me.

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If you’re interested in buying my book, ASTER THE SPIRIT TALKER, you can buy it by clicking here.


Are the clouds finally parting?

Are the clouds finally parting?

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Nope! And that’s how I ended up with a vitamin D deficiency.

Ugh! I guess it makes sense though, with an average of 299 cloudy days a year where I live; it’s no wonder. I moved here from Hawaii, and it wasn’t until recently that I noticed just how different I’ve been feeling. Perhaps it was a gradual thing? Also, probably about a year after moving here about 3 1/2 years ago, I had experienced a tragic life event that left me crushed. I won’t go into exactly what that was, it’s still too painful for me to talk about, but I thought it was the only reason that I haven’t been feeling like myself for so long.

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I finally went to the doctor and explained to her the way I’ve been feeling. Depressed and exhausted. She sent me for some blood work, and I forgot about it for a while.

Then I received a letter (and vitamin D prescription) from my doctor saying that I had a deficiency and it gave me the instructions on how to take my prescription. The letter said my goal levels were between 50 and 100 and my level was currently at a 19.

Well, I have no idea what a vitamin D deficiency or those levels mean or what the symptoms are so I read a few articles, and I was shocked and relieved. Here is a link to one of the articles, in case your interested.

You might want to read it, because as it states, “more than 40 percent of Americans are deficient” and that “Aches and pains? You can easily chalk them up to the aftereffects of your last workout—or simply not being 20 anymore. Tiredness? That could be because you aren’t getting enough quality sleep.”

I know, I know. You had no idea that I wasn’t in my 20s anymore since I look so young.

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I found that I had quite a few of the symptoms.

Depression ✅

Muscle Weakness ✅

Tiredness ✅

Crankiness ✅  What? No way! I’m a delight!

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Actually, I haven’t been super cranky, but I also haven’t been my normally happy self. Maybe moodiness would be a better descriptor for me. I’ve definitely been moody. I’ve been either very happy or extremely low.

For years, life has felt overwhelming and exhausting. My writing suffered. I wondered what was wrong with me. But maybe now I know. At least the physical component anyway. But I’m also taking steps to work on the emotional pain that I was too scared to confront or admit before.

I started taking my supplements last week, and I’m already feeling better. I can’t believe the difference in my energy and mood. I’m feeling quite happy and hopeful. The thought of returning to the way I used to feel (without needing to take some drug with its own commercial and side effects like nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, difficulty breathing, and death) is incredible.

I’m so happy that the thought of working on my novels feels exciting again and not like a chore anymore.

AND I’m thrilled to announce that I’ll be co-hosting a new Indie tag on Twitter. @Peachytags


You’ll be able to play along with me and my wonderful co-hosts, @Billie_Jean00 on Saturday mornings at 730 AM. (You know I’m feeling better if I said yes to something that happens before 10 AM on a Saturday! Ha ha!)

It’s going to be so much fun. If you’re on Twitter, I really hope you’ll follow our tag and play along.

And you know what… I change my mind. The clouds are indeed parting.

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I have a very good feeling that my efforts to write, clean, work, or do just about anything else will go from feeling like this…

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To feeling like this…

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I’m so excited to move forward, and I can’t wait to feel like me again! Woot woot!

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